I have a boyfriend. We barely have deep conversation, so I think blogging is the only way I could express my feeling :(
Few days ago we had a big quarrel. Usually when he said he needs to break up with me, thats when I call it a big quarrel. People always say, girls always wants for a break up but they say it because they are angry at that moment, they never mean it. But when it comes to guy its different, when he wants for a break up, they say they really mean it. My boyfriend doesn't like me throwing out "break up" easily from my mouth, so I changed. Since whenever, I stopped throwing that out. So Seam, did you mean it that night? You even asked what if you wanted to break up in future? I stunned. And this sentence you said to me stucked in my mind every moment, I really needed explanation, but, you are those people who never gives their girlfriend any explanation, who doesn't calm their girlfriend down after an argument, making them feel better. You think these are not needed, but sigh, if that could make me feel better, will you? :(
I was shocked. I didn't flirt with ANYONE I swear. Let me explain this again. I was super down that day cause you always drag the argument to days. Being together with me for a year plus, don't you know I can't calm down during an argument, its either solve it today, or I cry for everyday. I needed you to pamper me with sweet words and prove it with sincerity, I needed you to calm me down and tell me whats my problem, instead of asking for a break up, or even ignoring me. You should know I was waiting for you to find me. But instead, you did it the other way round. I was super down that day, so I did this very silly thing, I tweeted stupid things. But few minutes later, I immediately deleted those tweets cause I really thought it was stupid. But K instantly saw it. My whatsapp block list was removed as I deleted the app another day so that I could save up memories for photos. He what sapped me about that, asking if I was fine. I didn't reply. He then replied: Say something now or I call your mum. I didn't want it to happen for sure, I then replied: I am alive. I am not that stupid. He then replied: Picture of you right now. That was the reason I sent the photo to him. And you can see from the screenshots, I didn't flirt at all. He was the one who kept giving me those emojis. I replied him coldly, and immediately blocked him once again.
I went to visit you unannounced yesterday at your work, my second time doing this. Were you really happy? We didn't talk much at all. Was it because of you were still angry or.. what? I actually needed loads of explanation of your actions mostly but it seems very hard to ask you to communicate with me. But whats a couple without communication? Whats a couple without sweet talking?
You said you treated me like a family. Why break up? Will you break up with your family when they made mistakes? Girls always says, I want someone who won't give up on me. You just gave up on me few days ago, which I think it was ridiculous, I don't know what were you thinking at that moment, was it just because of Kelvin or what. And I would say, I didn't want you to treat me like a family, only. After all I accepted you as I crave for boyfriend love, husband love, understand?
Read this goody I found it online. I never wanted a childish relationship too. Cause sweet and real love aren't childish. Treating your girlfriend like a princess doesn't make us childish. I need not sweet words every single day. Sweet words don't really mean anything to me, but the thought of you wanting to make an effort to do it to me, thats the things I am looking for, the sincerity. Wilson bought Anqi tons of stuffs, I said it was sweet, but do you understand in my opinion, it is sweet not because he bought her something, it was because of him paying attention to what she needs he concerns about her, he needs her to be ok, the thought of doing it, thats what I am looking for again, the sincerity. And these are actions, they aren't words after all. Siawching's boyfriend got her something she says she likes when they were randomly shopping one day, the watch was like 700 bucks, of course the guy couldn't throw out his whole salary cause he needs to survive either. The second day, he immediately bought a watch for her, a cheaper one, less than 100 bucks. I call this sincerity, even if its 10 dollars, I call it sincerity. The necklace you bought me during our first Christmas, you said it was a lousy present. Seriously? I carefully wipe if often and put them into boxes, treated them like my treasure. :) <3
“I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.
She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.
Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.
Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?
Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.
I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.
Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.
When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.
I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”
- Jarrid Wilson”
Somehow it seems like we are getting apart, no no, not our distance, but, our heart, the gap. You said it is normal for someone who works. I asked how they have girlfriend, you said why not. Let me say this, sure, they can have a girlfriend when they work every single day from 10am to 10pm, but they must be treating their girlfriend very very well. Just imagine, 365 days they are working from 10am to 10pm. May I know which day can they date properly? May I know a working man like you get tired after working, where is the communication? Don't tell me they don't have heart to heart session? How people maintain a relationship when they have to work like mad, there must be a way they do. So, stop telling me that it is normal. It is not normal at all, just that they must be treating their girlfriend extra good, understand?
Hopefully these thoughts are here to me just because right now we barely talk. Excited to the days we get well again. The days you will hug me tightly like how you did when we first started this relationship. The days you kissed me sincerely during that trip. Looking forward. Hey, people say when girls think about the future of her and the boyfriend it is something common, but when it comes to guy it would demonstrate that the guy is really serious about this. I know its early, but, do you ever think about it? *laughs*
I will never want to give up on our relationship. Are you thinking what I am thinking?
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